This was my facebook status yesterday: "Ever have one of those days you just pray you don't end up on you tube? Thankful all the neighbors had already left for work when I fell in the dumpster. Also glad I didn't break a bone b/c going to the ER would have embarrassed Brent too." I thought I might elaborate on my good fortune in order to entertain and make others feel better about themselves.
I got up feeling industrious yesterday morning. As soon as the kids were off to school, I decided instead of running as I had intended, I would weed eat and rake the back yard. This is not a job I covet. In fact, the weed eater is my mortal enemy, but I was so tired of all the weeds that I willingly waged war with the evil weed whacker. (I apologize for the accidental absurd alliteration)
Since I was already dressed to work out, I simply added a sun hat and protective footwear. That was my first wrong turn. Picture it: spandex capris, polar fleece top, J Lo floppy hat, and hiking boots with long socks. It wasn't pretty. Pretty funny maybe, but there were no witnesses, so I didn't really care. It wasn't long though until I had to take the tree limb I had cut (and let fall on my head because the floppy hat was blocking my field of vision) and the full trash barrel of debris to the dumpster. I should include that all the driveways and garages are in the alleys in our neighborhood. I struggled to hoist the barrel over the side of the dumpster, and it instantly fell straight to the bottom with a sickening thud. When I want to throw out one little bag of garbage on dumpster truck day, the bin too full, and the truck is running behind, but the one day I do the yard work, the truck has come a day early, and there's not one thing to keep the trash barrel buoyed within my reach when it falls in.
So I climbed up the side of the dumpster and leaned over as far as I could to reach the barrel. My biggest fear was that at any moment a neighbor would drive by and see me in my fancy duds with my rear end pointed skyward. I should have been more concerned about the effect of gravity on my upper body leaning so far over because the rest is facebook history. After I scrambled out with my big ol' barrel in tow, I started thinking about what I would have done if I'd gotten hurt falling in. Naturally I would have called my husband the hospital exec to have the ER expect my arrival. He would have loved that! There are just no words to say in response to a woman in a floppy hat, hiking boots, and fitness gear covered in grass explaining her dumpster-diving accident. So glad we dodged that bullet! He's a lucky man...in more ways than one.
