There are some mom phrases that my kids won't accept. For instance, I tell them they're driving me crazy, and the 5 year old always says, "we're not even in the car. How can we be driving?" Every time. And yet, I can't stop myself from saying it when they are in fact driving me out of my mind. The other thing is, "you're on my last nerve." I say it to the kids, the dog, and on occasion, the husband. The same child muttered under her sweet breath not long ago when I told her that, "you ALWAYS tell us that." I just told her, "yeah, well it's lucky for you that it's such a strong nerve."
And she is! They all are! Some days I feel like I am a hair's breadth away from ending up on the evening news. The amount of restraint I can pack into that one last nerve is really astounding. Like just now...the girl is fascinated with the this Gyrobowl she has seen on TV. It cradles food in a weighted two-bowl system so that the food always stays upright and doesn't spill. GENIUS! I can only imagine the hours of vacuuming goldfish out of the car I could have saved myself if we had had those! However, as the youngest is about to be 3, I can't bring myself to spend the $15 plus shipping on them now. Enter the 5 year old. She has goldfish in a bowl, stacked in another bowl with small handles. I was typing and didn't SEE what transpired, but here's the auditory playback from 2 minutes ago:
"Look! I have my own Gyrobowl!"
[sound of goldfish hitting leather sofa]
"oops. ZELLLL_DAAAA" (Zelda's the dog/vacuum cleaner and the only reason I didn't bother turning around. She had it cleaned up before my last nerve had a chance to even waver)
I have only myself to blame though. I actually PRAY for patience! I thought that's what you were supposed to do as a parent of young, adventurous children, but my loving spouse reminds me that God gives us opportunities to PRACTICE patience. Nooo thank you! But I guess it's too late for me. I have prayed, and now I am in patience boot camp. And in the middle of my drills, I am left to wonder, do our "nerves" regenerate on a constant basis so that the kids, dog, and husband need only to lay low until some new ones can form and join forces with that last one, or am I really down to my last nerve? If so, they should build bullet-proof armor out of that!
And she is! They all are! Some days I feel like I am a hair's breadth away from ending up on the evening news. The amount of restraint I can pack into that one last nerve is really astounding. Like just now...the girl is fascinated with the this Gyrobowl she has seen on TV. It cradles food in a weighted two-bowl system so that the food always stays upright and doesn't spill. GENIUS! I can only imagine the hours of vacuuming goldfish out of the car I could have saved myself if we had had those! However, as the youngest is about to be 3, I can't bring myself to spend the $15 plus shipping on them now. Enter the 5 year old. She has goldfish in a bowl, stacked in another bowl with small handles. I was typing and didn't SEE what transpired, but here's the auditory playback from 2 minutes ago:
"Look! I have my own Gyrobowl!"
[sound of goldfish hitting leather sofa]
"oops. ZELLLL_DAAAA" (Zelda's the dog/vacuum cleaner and the only reason I didn't bother turning around. She had it cleaned up before my last nerve had a chance to even waver)
I have only myself to blame though. I actually PRAY for patience! I thought that's what you were supposed to do as a parent of young, adventurous children, but my loving spouse reminds me that God gives us opportunities to PRACTICE patience. Nooo thank you! But I guess it's too late for me. I have prayed, and now I am in patience boot camp. And in the middle of my drills, I am left to wonder, do our "nerves" regenerate on a constant basis so that the kids, dog, and husband need only to lay low until some new ones can form and join forces with that last one, or am I really down to my last nerve? If so, they should build bullet-proof armor out of that!
I think teachers and moms share a lot of the same "verbage". Sometimes I will tell me class that they are making me crazy and the things they come back with are insane/funny.
ReplyDeleteLove your stories :)