I have a serious heart problem. Don't freak out; my ticker is fine. I mean my soul, the part of me that loves and wants to make connections. That heart has a malfunction. You see, I really really don't like being wrong. Not that anyone does I suppose, but when my wrongness is pointed out to me, I quickly get offended. It's so bad, I got worked up over a product review that claimed something I have bought and loved was junk. What difference did that review make in my life? Did one stranger's viewpoint (which I just have to say was totally off base) really make me look flawed?
Recently someone corrected my homophone use. (You know, words that sound the same but have different meanings-there, their, they're) I was highly insulted that this person wasted both our time to point out such a minor slight. The next day as I was reading my Bible no less, I happened upon a similar usage of that same word. I had used the right one! I really wanted to highlight the verse, snap a photo, and send it to the offender clarifying that I was right. That's not unlike what I see happening every day in social media-people use all kinds of scripture to prove their political view or to condemn any number of perceived injustices. I wonder how many times a day God just wants to high five our smug, self-righteous faces.
Let me tell you what REALLY offended me. I was cooking dinner, and one of the people in my house POURED seasoning into the pot! Seriously??? This person did not taste it first, and it was a dish this person couldn't even eat for dietary reasons. How would he or she even know what it needed?! I was furious that he would deliberately try to make me look like I didn't know what I was doing. (Ok, it was my husband) How DARE he? I was so mad in fact, I refused to eat the dish, that is, until he left to run an errand later on. It was good, just the right amount of seasoning. Dear merciful God, please don't let him read this.
Let me tell you what REALLY offended me. I was cooking dinner, and one of the people in my house POURED seasoning into the pot! Seriously??? This person did not taste it first, and it was a dish this person couldn't even eat for dietary reasons. How would he or she even know what it needed?! I was furious that he would deliberately try to make me look like I didn't know what I was doing. (Ok, it was my husband) How DARE he? I was so mad in fact, I refused to eat the dish, that is, until he left to run an errand later on. It was good, just the right amount of seasoning. Dear merciful God, please don't let him read this.
Why was I so angry over such a small thing? Why did it even matter? It mattered in that moment because I felt like I was being accused of being wrong. And I must always be right. It's a flaw in myself that I hate. Actually, I rarely recognize it as a flaw. More like a gift. It's hard to be right all the time! :) It's also hard, if not impossible, to be humble and put others before myself when I have to be right. I spend so much time and energy being offended and trying to prove my accuracy (thank you, Google for speeding up that process) that I miss opportunities to feel joy and model appropriate responses for my kids. "Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult." Proverbs 12:16
I should probably get that tattooed on my hand so I will see it every time I start to angry text, Google, check IMDB to prove I'm right about that movie/actor. History has shown me to be a fool, and that definitely offends me.
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