How to get noticed in the big city

I just read a book about a family in LA in the film industry. It poked fun at mid-westerners in their LL Bean clothing and stick-up-the-butt protestant values. I didn't say it was a great book. While I'm not technically from the mid-west, and the only thing I own from LL Bean is a diaper bag, it made me feel self-conscious about how well I fit the stereotype of the housewife with 3 kids in the perpetual ponytail and tennis shoes. I don't know if I own any single piece in my wardrobe that cost over $75! I guess the only reason I didn't stick out in California is because everywhere we went was nothing but tourists. We looked fine to each other!

We have also been getting ready to go to New York again, and as it was 20 degrees the last time we were there, I am stressing what to pack. Some websites claim that only tourists wear colors other than black, sneakers, or flip flops. I have some black, but it's mostly winter wear. If you wear black in 100 deg Texas heat, your skin starts to boil under you clothes until it blisters and welds itself to the fabric. As for my footwear blending with the locals, aside from the vast collection of strappy heels (all totally inappropriate for walking all over midtown unless your name is Carrie Bradshaw), the only summer shoes I own are flip flops and sneakers. According to the internet, I can expect to be mugged as soon as I step out of La Guardia.

Fabulous. I might as well embrace the tourist look and buy a fanny pack! I'll even apply sunblock to my nose in the middle of the sidewalk and look at a map every 5 minutes. Yep, that ought to do it. If I don't end up on the news for being attacked, at least I will be in a fashion mag...on the Don't page with the black censor bar across my eyes.