All My Kids Are Going Back to School!!!

In 20 days, I will finally be able to go to the bathroom by myself! at least during the hours of 9 and 2:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This morning as two little heads peered in to see where I'd disappeared to and one waited to flush for me, I was seriously trying to figure out how I could avoid going altogether except on those precious 5 and 1/2 hours on Tues/Thurs. I know you're thinking, why don't you just lock the door? I do when I remember to use the only bathroom in this place that actually has a working lock. That's about a 15 second deterrent though because the oldest can pick the lock, the middle child is loud enough as she bangs on the door and screams that it's more peaceful to acquiesce, and the little guy pokes things under the door at my feet.

My husband asks me what I plan to do when the little one starts school since I've never had everyone out of the house at the same time. At first I was a little apprehensive that I might get bored, and it would be too quiet around here. I'm sure he was also concerned that I might blissfully fill my days with shopping and spending recklessly. It has occurred to me. I will definitely use the 10 hours a week of solitude to grocery shop and run errands. The store clerks will be appreciative of this, especially the poor guys in Discount Tire who see me coming with the snack bag, coloring books, and crayons. They take one look at my kids (some of whom are wallowing in the floor trying to get comfortable as they create their artwork and others who are rearranging the chairs in the waiting area), and they instantly move my car to the front of the queue. With two of them in school daily, I might actually get the laundry caught up and finish the honey-do list we never get around to. We need to touch up some paint on the walls, but paint should NEVER under any circumstances be purchased, used, or spoken of in the presence of young children. I have learned that the hard way on a number of occasions.

Another upside to the school starting is that the little 11 engraved deep in furrows of my brow might have a chance to relax and give me a look of restfulness again. That could really save money on future Botox needs. And I feel certain my gray hairs grow slower during the 9 months school is in session than they do in the three months we have off. The significance of both these factors add up to one very important life lesson that my friend Whitney reminds me: A HAPPY WIFE MAKES A HAPPY LIFE!