family vacations not for the faint of heart

Vacations are not relaxing for moms. I wish that had been in the contract: "by conceiving this child you understand that you are no longer going to enjoy leaving home with your offspring. You will be scrubbing poop and/or vomit without the usual home helps in a hotel or truck stop sink, and you will break down and cry at least once on every trip. Delays will be compounded exponentially by the number of children and their ages, and you and your spouse will likely not be speaking upon return to your home.

If you accept the terms of this arrangement, please continue with the conception. If you have changed your mind, embrace celibacy and book the next flight to a tropical locale you find!"

If this IS on the contract, it's in that super fine print they use on car ads, and it can't even be read with an electron microscope. When you find yourself on the side of the road wiping vomit off of the precious blankie with a wet wipe and hand sanitizer, it's too late to back out. You're too far from home to give up, and the kids are yours, so your committed until they finally commit you either to the nut house or the nursing home.